A Brother's Keeper
by Drewmoviefan
Summary: After the death of Captain Holly, his younger brother tries to carry on cope for his older brother.


Peace was restored in Watership Down, after Woundwart's defeat. Not everything was the same for me. I spend most of the days hiding in my burrow in lamentation. My brother who defended the warren is gone. His name was Holly. He died for defending the warren, exceptionally for his mate Hyzenthlay. She informed me that he saved her, as she was pounced on. He intervened and saved her, only the cost of his life by the hands of _Efrafan _bucks. They clawed him to death, before striking him on the head. She didn't had to tell me, because I seen it happened, not when he saved her, but watching my brother die. When we recovered his body, I couldn't leave him for one whole day. I wanted to remain by his side forever, until Bigwig had pulled me away, so we could bury him. Afterwards, unlike Hyzenthlay, she manages to move on, but committed to not have another buck, as Holly would be her only one she has. Me, on the other hand, I spend my days in anguish in my burrow in tears.

I have already passed my mourning of our family that perished at Sandleford. Holly and I managed to dug ourselves out of the warren as the humans were digging and pulling the roots from the ground. Before we found Hazel and the others, we had to track them for three days. I was afraid of the outside world, because I never experienced it unlike my brother, except near the boundaries of our old warren. During our search, I was traumatized from seeing rabbits perished back in Sandleford, worst of all was seeing our parents and our siblings perished from a tunnel collapse. During our journey, he comforted and encouraged me to be brave during trails and hardships. I wasn't brave like my brother because he was the Captain of the _Owsla_, back in Sandleford.

I tried to have more courage like he has, since he stopped running. However, since me being the only family member left of me and my brother's family. It's more difficult to imagine or go through it. I intended to blame Hazel, as he was ordered to defend the warren. When he came into my burrow, with Clover and Bigwig. I denied to say it was Holly's choice to defend.

"It's not true. It's not true." I sobbed.

"It is true, Mace. He wanted to defend the warren for you, Hyzenthlay, and everyone here." Hazel tried to comfort me.

Anger boiled inside me that I lashed out Hazel for his culpability of allowing my big brother to defend the warren and than slaughtered. "YOU DID THIS! YOU MADE HIM TO DEFEND US FOR NOTHING! I HATE YOU!" I started to claw on Hazel, as if he was an _Efrafan_ buck who murdered my brother. "SAY IT, SAY YOU ORDERED HIM TO DIE! SAY IT!"

Bigwig didn't even try to stop, as Holly was his Captain. Clover tried to pull me back from attacking Hazel and I uncontrollable started to sob, as I screamed until my throat started to hurt that I could only do is cry. The three embraced me, as I was in distraught that my brother is gone and nothing would change it.

* * *

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_  
_That don't bother me_  
_I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out_  
_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_  
_Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me_  
_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay_  
_But that's not what gets me_

At nights, I was deeply alone in my burrow, because my brother would sleep with me whenever I had nightmares, I was sad, or simply alone. The tears continued to fall from my eyes, as the burrow grew cold and I longed for my brother's warmth of his side and his paws around me that I could embrace around me. What hurts me the most was seeing him in my dreams. It would be from our past from Sandleford Warren to Watership Down. I was the youngest of litter and I would stay close to my big brother and that is Holly, since my very first _silflay_.

From than on, whenever he was just on sentry I would stay in guard next to him, as if I was in the _Owsla_. The _Owsla_ bucks would laugh and tease me because I was foolish, except Bigwig, that Holly would stand up for me and told the laughing bucks to get back to their duties. When my brother looked down at me, he would smile and winked. The blissful moments I had with him was the both of us _Tail Tagging_ around outside of the warren, joining with my brother with his _Owsla_ bucks eating sow thistles. At few instances that he would slip me a sow thistle and gave it to me, so I could have some. He would than of course share the sow thistles with the family of course. Whenever the day was near to the end, we _silflayed _at the top of the hill of our warren to watch _Frith_ set. Even some instances, if _eili_ wasn't around we would sleep outside and watch the night stars of other worlds.

_What hurts the most was being so close_  
_And havin' so much to say_  
_And watchin' you walk away_  
_And never knowin' what could've been_  
_And not seein' that lovin' you_  
_Is what I was trying to do_

* * *

Just on the same day that General Woundwart and his _Efrafa_ _Owsla_ would invade our warren, my brother and I _silflayed_ near the warren during _ni-Frith_. While we were being bathed from the sun light, I couldn't stop watching Hyzenthlay. She was talking with her sisters, as they _silflayed_. It wasn't until Holly looked at me, as I had worry or as if I was feeling sad.

"What's wrong brother?" Holly asked me. I simply sighed, as I didn't want to upset him, over him finding a mate and they would move on. "Is it about me and Hyzenthlay?"

I than slowly nodded my head. "Yes, a little. I'm trying to be happy for you and her." He chuckled, as he rubbed my head.

"I know you're. Deep down." he smiled.

I lightly smiled, as I remembered him telling me that he would stay with me, even if he and Hyzenthlay are mates. He would never leave me and stay with me until he stopped running in his old age.

"Do you ever thought about my future? Since I watched you and Hyzenthlay, I'm still uncertain of finding a mate, being a buck rabbit, or joining the _Owsla_ like you to have purpose." I spoke, before I looked at my brother's face. "What do you see?"

"What do you see, brother?" he than asked me.

"I'm serious."

"I know, little brother. If I was to see the future, it'll would be just seeing you." He patted on my head.

I chuckled. "You mean I don't have ideal future for myself."

"Only your heart tells you what future you should have. _Frith _knows, maybe you'll be Captain _Owsla_ one day." Holly came up that I giggled, as I thought it would funny, but not bad of an idea, as we shared a nuzzle. "Than what do you see?"

"I don't know... just like you said big brother, 'only my heart tells me of my future'." I answered, as we both laughed and shared a nuzzle.

* * *

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go_  
_But I'm doing it_  
_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

Every morning, after dreaming of my past spending time with Holly, I would wake up in delight until I than see my brother wasn't by my side. I would go very little go out and _silflay_ to try enjoy the day. Every time if I go out since he's gone, everyone stared at me before they would continue to resume with their grass or they'll just whisper about me like it was my first time that I came out of my burrow. I couldn't keep a smile on my face, as I would look if he was _silflaying _next to me. I would see he wasn't here, but an empty spot. My heartbreaks every I looked over to my left and right to him not there. I wouldn't even take a bite of a delicate dandelion, as my stomach was too upset to eat it. Tears would than fall from my eyes, even if someone would come up to comfort me, like Blackberry would try to tab me on my shoulder, but before he could I would withdraw and return back inside the warren to my burrow and cry.

_Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret_  
_But I know if I could do it over_  
_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_  
_That I left unspoken_

_What hurts the most was being so close_  
_And havin' so much to say_  
_And watchin' you walk away_  
_And never knowin' what could've been_  
_And not seein' that lovin' you_  
_Is what I was trying to do, oh_

At nights, the worst dreams would come to me and haunt me. The worst was seeing Holly die in front of me. I dreamed that I was at the Honeycomb, as my brother told me to stay. I didn't want him to leave, but he told he has too and he promises me that he'll come back to me. The offensive of the _Efrafa_ was too strong that the defenders of our warren fell back, as they're trying to close of the entrances. I hurried off to find Holly, so he could join us back. When went arrived at 'The Big Root' exit, I saw that Hyzenthlay was held to the ground by an _Efrafan_ buck. I than watched a brawl over not far from where she was. There were _Efrafa_ bucks clawing at a buck to see it was Holly. My heart pounded, as watched them brutally attacking my brother as he keeps attempting to get back on his feet. He was covered with claw marks on his hind leg, his side and throughout his body. I could only do was to cry for them to "STOP!" My voice fall from their deaf ears, until I saw the strongest _Efrafan_ buck struck Holly on the head and he fumbled to the ground. I gasped to see that Holly wasn't even getting up this time... he lie lifelessly on the grass. The bucks resumed to attack that I tried intervene and yell out them to stop. I was than held back by a former _Efrafan_ buck named Blackavar. The bucks stopped until they nudged at my brothers body to realize he's dead. Hyzenthlay tried to rush over to Holly's body, but being pulled back by Blackavar. I rushed over my big brother, when I got to him: his eyes were closed, his body was torn from the claw marks, even at his ears had scratch marks from the _Efrafans_. I tried to pick him up to have him get up, but his body would lump back on the grass.

"Holly, please get up." I was becoming shaken, even at one point, I would try to pick him up from his back. He wouldn't get up, as what was his last strength faded and fell back on the grass. I started to burst into tears, as I cried for my brother. I watched Hyzenthlay crying out for him, as she was being taken back inside the warren.

I continued to beseech Holly, until I lie next to him, as I couldn't hear a heart beat from him and his body became stiffed and cold. Blackberry than approached to me and told me that we have to leave, but I couldn't leave my brother alone. Blackberry than tried to pick me up and pull me back, but I struggled to stay beside Holly. It wasn't until Blackavar and Bigwig came out of the warren and helped Blackberry to bring me back to the warren. I tried to break free from them, but when I got close to him, Bigwig would block my path and pushed me away from my brother's body. My strength than failed, as I bawled and weep. I was being pushed until we got back towards The Honeycomb, the first I seen was Hazel, as the entrances of The Honeycomb closed off. I built up in rage and anger that I even attacked him, clawed at him, and blamed him for sending my brother to die. I was than broke up from my attack at Hazel, by Hyzenthlay and Blackberry.

Hyzenthlay and Blackberry didn't leave me, as I continued to sob over seeing my brother die. Everyone went into absolute silence, as we lost a fellow rabbit and an _Owsla_ captain.

"_My heart has joined the thousand..." _everyone than started to pray over Holly.

"_... for my brother stopped running today." _I than finished, as Hyzenthlay nuzzled me, as we both were in tears.

_What hurts the most was being so close_  
_And havin' so much to say_  
_And watchin' you walk away_  
_And never knowin' what could've been_  
_And not seein' that lovin' you_  
_Is what I was trying to do_

I than woke up from my nightmare and I dashed out of my burrow. I was running out of breath, as I was still in tears and finally reached over to "The Big Root". I exited out of the burrow, as I than visioned of seeing my brother's lifeless, torn body lying on the grass. In tears, I closed my eyes and shook my head until I opened to see his body was gone. However, what is left over there was a burial of him at the same spot where he died. I hopped over to his grave, as his grave fully dug and the rocks secured his grave, so that no _eilil_ would dug my brother's body up and devour it. There were some flowers that we found that we placed there, after we buried him. I couldn't stop crying.

* * *

_That's what I was trying to do, ooh_

I managed to stop crying, as I sniffled and wiped my eyes from the tears. "For my future... I saw you. I saw you."

In the cold night, I lay there as the cold wind brushed over me. I continued to sniffle into tears, until I feel something was warming. I wasn't sure who it was, I looked over to see it was Holly.

"HOLLY!" I had a little joy to see him. Until when I tried to touch him, he felt nothing. It was his spirit.

"Don't despair, my little brother." he smiled, although I didn't see his mouth move when he spoke, but he warmly smiled. "I'll always be with you in spirit. We'll see each other in _Frith's Meadow_."

"It'll be a long time. I wanted to see you now." I sniffled.

"I'm here now." he than nuzzled me. I could feel him, as if it was him being there.

"Well you stay with me for tonight." I continued to sniffle and I didn't want him to leave.

"Of course." he than lie down, as I cuddled next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and the warmth came back.

"Why did you have to go?" I asked him.

His smile faded, that he looked away, before looking back at me. "It was perhaps my time. Although it was sudden, but it was."

"Why? Hyzenthlay misses you, although she moved on, but she wouldn't be with another buck. I can't move from this. It's unlike how it was with our family."

He than rubbed his paw on my head. "I know... you'll be able to carry on. Like we did, and our ancestors before us. Remember what _Frith_ says: '_There is not a day or night but a doe offers her life for her kittens, or some honest captain of Owsla his life for his Chief Rabbit's. Sometimes it is taken, sometimes it is not. But there is no bargain, for here, what is, is what must be.'_"

It was unfair for him to leave me alone, as I was the only one left of our family. He than told me that he saw our parents and siblings. "I know you missed us, and we miss you too. However, when your time is near... you'll see us again."

"What can I do before than?" I asked.

"Just move on and live your life. Keep running, until you stop running. Protect the warren and watch over Hyzenthlay for me." he instructed me.

I nodded my head for agreement, as I teared up. "What if I really wanted to see you?"

He chuckled and placed his paw where my heart is. "I'll be there in spirit. If you're needing to see, just pray to _Frith_ and I'll be there for you at night, until the next morning."

"Like now?"

He nuzzled me playfully. "Yes, little brother. I'm here now and I'll be gone in the morning."

I stopped crying, as we shared a nuzzle and felt his warmth around me. Even his heart was beating, and his body was warm, and not torn from the battle. We than watched the stars, until I became tire that I closed my eyes and fell asleep, as my brother rested his head on top of mine.

In the next morning, I woke up to see he was gone, but I still felt his warmth, as he was inside of me. I gazed at the sun starting to rise and it was the first time that I have ambition to move on from my grief, as I continued to remember the good memories we shared.

My grief finally passed, as I apologized to Hazel from what I said and what I done to him. He simply forgave me and I promised to him and Bigwig that I would join the _Owsla_ to pay from my blame, as well keeping promise to Holly that I would move on. As I was in the _Owsla_, although I would never reach to captain like Holly was, I would everyday watched Hyzenthlay as she goes on with her life. Every time I was watching her, as I was guarding the warren I would be visited by Holly's spirit, as he was guarding the warren. We looked at each other and smiled, before we continued to watch the rabbits of Watership Down and still protect it to this day.

**The End**

Author's Note: The inspiration of this short story is from Rascal Flatts' song _What Hurts The Most_.


End file.
